Not the greatest time to be a bowler, is it?

In IPL 2024, Sunrisers Hyderabad are hitting sixes for the fun of it, 262 is chased as if it was a child’s play, and 287 feels at least 13 runs short.

The rise in run rate is alarming. Just look at the graphic below.

In 2009, there was only one solitary 200+ score and zero other 190+ scores.

By the team we got to 2023, there were 49 190+ scores, which included 37 200+ scores. This year, we have already had 35 190+ scores including 25 200+ scores and eight 250+ scores.

12 Rules That Will Help Bring the Balance Back to the Bowlers

But don’t worry.

I got you.

I bring to you 12 rules that will change the game for good and bring the bowlers back to life!

*Note: This is Satire. Take this Seriously at your own risk.

1. For Every No-Ball, We Need a No-Bat

A bowler oversteps by a millimeter, it is called a no-ball. A bowler bowls wide behind the batter or misses the wide line by a fine margin, it is called a wide.

So, we propose the ‘No-Bat.’ If a batter at the non-strikers end leaves their crease by a millimeter, have them run without a bat. It is mandatory to dive for every run. Let them work for it.

And Also subtract two runs per violation. Why not?

2. Smaller the Boundary, Wider the Stumps

Boundaries are getting smaller by the day. Let’s do this—The shorter the boundary, the wider the stumps.

At the 90 meter MCG boundaries, we play with the regular three stumps. At the Chinnaswamy, increase the wicket to 6 stumps.

3. Each Bowler will get a customized Ball suited to their Strengths

These days, bats are getting bigger. Batters work with manufacturers to get customized bats.

So why do bowlers play with the same standardized balls?

Each bowler should get to pick their favorite balls and stop the match in the middle to switch balls whenever they feel like it. We want Duke balls, SG, Kookaburra, old balls, new balls, used balls, tape balls, tennis balls, red balls, white balls, pink balls, the complete lot!

4. No Cap on Bowlers Quota

If Jos Buttler can carry the bat and play the 20 overs, let’s give Sunil Narine the opportunity to open the bowling and end with figures of 10-3-42-7.

5. Batters can only play 24 Balls Maximum

On the flip side, if Jasprit Bumrah is limited to 24 balls, KL Rahul should be limited to just 24 balls (Oh wait…that might actually be a good thing for the batting team…You get my point)

6. Batters Can Only Hit 2 Aerial Shots Per Over

There are only 2 bouncers allowed per over for the bowler. There should only be 2 aerial shots attempted per over for the batter.

7. If Batters Can Switch Hit Without Notice, Bowlers should be able to Switch Bowl Without Notice

Kevin Pietersen and David Warner are allowed to switch hit and take advantage of every corner of the ground. No problem with the that, hats off to them.

Allow the great scientist, Ravichandran Ashwin, to start his line up around the wicket, change to over the wicket, dance around the umpire, and change his action from right arm off-leg spinner to left arm wrist spinner.

8. More Sponsorship For the Bowlers

Umm…this is not satire. Bowlers should actually receive more sponsorship.

9. Flatter the Pitch, Lesser the Overs

At the beginning of each innings, a pitch report should be conducted where experts take their magnifying glasses and lay down flush on the pitch to count the number of cracks and blades of grass. That number should be given to the Duckworth-Lewis-Sterns of the current era.

They will come up with a formula to reduce the number of overs from the maximum of 20. Flatter the pitch, more overs are reduced.

10. If Dew is Present, Batters Will Play with Gloves Dipped in Oil

Too easy to chase these days when dew is present.

At the first sign of dew, umpires will give the batters special gloves dipped in oil for the remainder of the match.

11. Let’s add a bowling Powerplay, where all 15 players in the Squad are on the Pitch

Batters get a Powerplay to encourage strokeplay in the first six.

Bowlers should get a 4-over Bowling Powerplay where the rest of the squad, coaches, team management, and Jonty Rhodes come out to the field and cover every inch of the ground.

12. If All Fails, Allow Underarm Bowling

Team Australia has always been ahead of the curve. No wonder Australia wins World Cups for breakfast.

If no rule change works, bring back the underarm delivery that Trevor Chappell bowled in 1981.

That’s it from me, thanks for reading!

Give me your thoughts on how to bring back limited overs cricket back in the bowlers favor.

If you like to read satire like this, check the following articles out:

• The Comedy of Overs: Shakespearean Parody Starring English Cricket, The Hundred, And County Cricket
• What is Bazball? The Official Definition of Bazball is…
• Imagine a World Without Sports
• 2022 T20 World Cup Review: The Quickest Review You Will Ever Find
• Other Satirical Articles

Note: Image generated by AI.

© Copyright @Nitesh Mathur and Broken Cricket Dreams, LLC 2023. Originally published on 04/27/2024. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Broken Cricket Dreams with appropriate and specific direction to the original content (i.e. linked to the exact post/article).